Caring for the carer
Caring for a loved one can be both a privilege and a burden. I say that having spent close to 20 years caring for my younger brother before he passed away and now my elderly father who has numerous life-limiting illnesses.
While I wouldn’t change a thing and feel blessed that I have been able to share that time with them both, I know it can be an exhausting, thankless and stressful role at times, one that demands considerable amounts of energy, sometimes when you have very little left in the tank.
Until recently, I tried valiantly to juggle a full work calendar with caring responsibilities but there are only so many hours in the day. As my Dad’s condition is deteriorating, I have now reduced my work hours until the time is right again.
As my Dad ‘s illnesses are complex and my brother had a serious mental illness, I’ve had more than my fair share of experiences managing it all. The healthcare system can be complicated and confusing. It’s not easy and if you’re new to the role of caregiver, it can feel overwhelming.
It’s a role that often sneaks up on you too – one minute you’re happy to help by ordering some online groceries, the next you’re a legit personal assistant/chauffeur/counsellor/courier/accountant with a pseudo medical degree-in-the-making organising every minute of their life.
While you might be able to wing it when the tasks are few and far between, there will inevitably come a point where it all starts to unravel… you can’t remember vaccination, injury and hospital admission details that every single doctor will ask you about. You forget the date of the last blood test, xray or infection. You don’t have a copy of current medication lists and can’t recall a change the specialist asked you to tell the pharmacist. You’re certain Monday is free for an appointment only to remember the cleaner comes that day. You haven’t remembered to cancel the food delivery on the day your loved one will be out and now they are getting snakey because you ordered the wrong brand of icecream. And don’t get me started on the late night phone tutorials on how to use the tv/air con/recliner remote control (my advice, take a photo of all the remotes so you have a reference point!).
I’m a fairly organised person but I know I have let things slip through the cracks in the past – missed appointments, lost referrals and medication mishaps. It can be an incredibly demanding role and it’s certainly not for the faint of heart.
With an ageing population and a burgeoning ‘sandwich generation’, I figured I can't be the only one—there must be others in a similar situation. So, using my many years of lived experience I’ve designed a Google Docs template full of practical, useful information to help make the role easier, less stressful and more rewarding – an opportunity to streamline the logistics of appointment, contacts and medication management leaving you more energy to actually care.
It’s easy to use and the best part is it’s cloud-based so you can share it with family, health professionals or other caregivers meaning everyone is kept up to speed in real-time. At a moment’s notice, you can handball the role to someone else when you’re unavailable meaning you don’t have to bear the load alone and may actually be able to take a break from time-to-time. All you need is a free Google account and if you have a Gmail address you’re all set—you already have one.
It can be completely customised to suit your own situation and includes all of the prompts that I have needed over the years when caring for my family members so you won’t forget anything.
You can purchase this Google Docs template for yourself here.
If this resonates with you, my top tip would be to start now. Don’t wait a moment longer—get organised, start documenting it all, especially if you are at the start of this journey. Your future-self will thank you when you’re at the next specialist’s appointment and you can access everything they ask for, right from your phone.
Jane Cameron